I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
