yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
