He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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