I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
