shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
