your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
