what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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