You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
