after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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