Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
