I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This is my gift to your gina
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
