What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So drunk its hurt
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
