Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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