i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
