Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
