I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
