i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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