Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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