try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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