I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
