i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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