you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my poor anus
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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