She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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