i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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