i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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