never play flip cup with pint glasses
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Houston, we have a squirter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
