Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
