i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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