As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
