MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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