How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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