I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wish there were birth control emojis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
