Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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