After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize