Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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