Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I lost the right to judge tonight
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
