i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
