I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
