dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
