the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
