Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sobbing to NWA
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize