I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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