i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
