Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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