Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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