one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
