Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
