On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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