the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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