You made me cry and you don't even care
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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