how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
