He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
