I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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