Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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