I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
