Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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