super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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