it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
