And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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