Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
