SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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