I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
